Relationship/Marriage – Between Ignorance & Willpower… (What really destroys?)

What destroys relationships/marriages? Ignorance? Lack of love/understanding? Irreconcilable differences? Incompatibility? What exactly?

So many factors affect relationship/ marriages, however, what really destroys most relationships/marriages isn’t much of ignorance on the part of those involved, or differences, but a lack of WILLPOWER.

Most people know what is right, what is pleasant and what is acceptable. Most people know what can make their relationship/marriage work and blossom. However, what is usually missing is a combination of determination and self-discipline that enables somebody to do something, despite the difficulties involved. That’s what we call WILLPOWER.

When we are ‘in love’ the body produces hormones that provide us that willpower by default. We therefore are tuned to doing so many things for, and with, our partner, despite the difficulties involved. When the hormone supply dwindles and possibly runs out, even though we know these things, it apparently becomes gradually difficult to do those same things that relationships/marriages require to thrive. Ignorance and personal differences are not really the problem in most relationships/marriages, but a lack of that willpower.

A lot of people for example know that they dislike being corrected harshly but they still go ahead to correct their spouses harshly. A lot know they don’t like being put down or scolded in public, especially in the presence of friends, yet they go ahead and do the same to their spouses. We know two wrongs don’t make a right, we know when one partner is angry it is best to let them vent, give time for things to cool off, then we can objectively discuss, but do we actually do these things despite their seeming difficulty?

A lot of people want their partners to respect them, be patient with them, have some faith in them, be kind, encourage them when discouraged, be supportive, be there etc, yet they choose not to do the same for their partners. It isn’t because they are not aware or are ignorant, it is rather because they lack the determination and self-discipline (willpower) to commit to doing these things in their relationship/marriage despite the difficulties involved.

No one says it is easy, absolutely not, however, no good thing is and if it were, everyone would be doing it. It would then be commonplace and have no real value.

Everyone however, agrees that good…, No, great relationships/marriages are worth having. Unfortunately, most relationships/marriages today are far from good and miles away from great.

To better our relationships/marriages, we must constantly renew our commitment. We must make it a priority to find what works and apply it. We must resolve to do, to act and to accomplish, in addition to knowing the things that make our relationships/marriages better.

Relationships/marriages should make us better, not worse and “doing” is what produces results not just knowing. You can know the 7 keys to a successful relationship/marriage, 5 nuggets to a better relationship/marriage and six million ways to show how much you love your spouse. If you refuse to do, then all you have is head knowledge. If you try something and it doesn’t work for you, try something else, till you find what works.

Relationship/marriage is like driving a car, you need to pay attention, be alert and constantly have fuel (willpower). You don’t start a car and leave it to self drive (at least google is still working on that), your relationship also requires same, if not much more attention. Develop the willpower to do what is best for your relationship/marriage, not just head knowledge.

Have a highly desirable relationship/marriage.


2 thoughts on “Relationship/Marriage – Between Ignorance & Willpower… (What really destroys?)

  1. Nice one,but our partner should also try as much as he can to give us time n attention, to discuss about issues n to sort out those tins we kno dat cause problems or anytin dat can bring up issues, gradually we can live more happily


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