Selfishness (#adamandeve series on Twitter with Pastor Bolaji Idowu)

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Pastor Bolaji Idowu


1. Good evening and thanks a lot for joining me today on #adamandeve. This episode will be very helpful.
2. I will continue our discussion on Reconciling Differences In Marriages and Relationships.
3. At the root of our differences in marriages/relationships is SELFISHNESS.
4. Every man and woman is born with natural selfish tendency.
5. Selfishness varies in degree from person to person; but we all are born with a natural selfish tendency.
6. This tendency accounts for why we are so insistent on our way and not considerate of the other.
7. For relationships/marriages to work, selfishness needs to be brought to an all time minimum low.
8. Selfishness prevents you from genuinely depriving ourselves to make the other happy, which is key to a loving relationship.
9. Selfishness makes you the centre focus of each conversation and act of love in the relationship.
10. Selfishness makes you grossly insensitive to the other person, his/her thoughts, perspectives and needs.
11. Ill managed differences in marriages/relationships will hinder intimacy.
12. Intimacy thrives in marriages/relationships where differences are understood and embraced.
13. Unmanaged differences in relationships/marriage often lead to deep rooted hurt.
14. The hurt is sometimes a function of a partner insisting on his/her way or just being difficult.
15. A good example is- A lady asked a spouse to buy another car because of the soon coming baby.
16. He can’t afford it without an over-stretch, but she doesn’t understand and she says he can’t go an extra mile for her.
17. Romance and affection are the pure energy line of every loving relationship/marriage
18. This quality in every relationship makes it fun to sacrifice and overlook errors.
19. Differences have a way when not well tamed, to drain love and affection out of relationships/marriages.
20. Hence you see what the guy would tolerate before, begins to irritate him.
21. The constant tension of differences has drained away his capacity to overlook.
22. Unmanaged differences lead to frequent fights and quarrels- the nightmare of any marriage/relationship.
23. The most unnoticed impact of unhandled differences in marriages/relationships is on the self esteem.
24. When differences become unhandled and poisonous words are exchanged between two lovers, self esteem is injured.
25. It leaves each of the party feeling demoralized, devastated and disappointed.
26. With ladies, the emotional impact is very much, spilling into their work and their career life.
27. Such ladies, due to the relationship tension develop a low self esteem or self worth.
28. Ultimately, unmanaged differences in relationships/marriages lead to devastating or destructive breakups or divorce.
29. In dealing with differences, we must realize we are uniquely different from our partners, which has its pros and cons.
30. The mentality that is intolerant of other’s differences must be squashed to pave way for relationship and marital success.
31. Let’s be honest with ourselves, our peculiar differences has its advantages and disadvantages.
32. Hence the introduction of another can be a good way to obtain balance and make better beneficial decisions.
33. I will continue with this thought next week. If it has been helpful, please retweet and share your opinions.
34. If you have any questions, send a mail to Till I hear from you again, have a restful evening.

Extracted from Pastor Bolaji Idowu’s (@pastorbolaji) #adamandeve series on twitter and I think you should follow him.

Info: #adamandeve series is live, every Thursday @ 5:30pm Nigerian time, on his TL (@pastorbolaji)

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