1. Good evening and welcome to today’s episode of #adamandeve. Kindly remember to invite your friends to follow the conversation.
2. Today we continue on reconciling differences in relationships & marriages if you missed it please read up on my TL (@pastorbolaji on Twitter)
3. Marrying/dating a difficult person is a task not fun, but our reaction to differences in relationships is vital to its sustenance
4. Most of us get shocked at our differences about life views and perspectives and as they unfold tension brews in marriage
5. Initially, differences are ignored but as we get deeper, ignored differences become DIS-INTEGRATING factors
6. When relationship/marriage is fresh, it’s normal to overlook differences, but this paralyzes the chance to negotiate for adjustments
7. Reconciling differences is simply helping your partner see your world view, perspective and also understand it
8. Unmanaged differences, sometimes bring deep hurts to partners. My advice is differences be discussed early & in healthy manner
9. The truth about differences is, most of it is not about who is right or wrong. It’s a function of perspective and background
10. A great error in relationship and marriage is to think you can change your partner. That has NEVER happened and it NEVER will
11. Key factor to developing teachable attitude is willingness to learn, change & be flexible. A teachable person is fun to be with
12. It is amazing that most people who accuse their partner of being unteachable are also guilty of this.
13. One of the most difficult persons to marry or date is an unteachable person as nothing that can be said/done to please them
14. Heartbreak in relationship is sometimes a function of the fact that your partner refuses to see or acknowledge your point
15. We all love that person that understands and appreciates our values even if they don’t agree.
16. Accepting and celebrating differences from our partner is a skill we all need to cultivate and put into practice
17. An unteachable person can be compared to a “he goat” unwilling to bend/adjust or without ability to drop old ways to pick up new ones
18. Being teachable takes humility and courage in order not to lose the essence of a person and not to be termed “MUMU” or DUMB #adamandeve
19. Humility to accept that there is always a better way to see things, truth be told though, sometimes, you have to play DUMB
20. Play DUMB in order to make the relationship work. It is better to lose the argument sometimes than to lose the person
21. So, the question is, are we willing to learn? Someone said a class of illiterates are people who can’t unlearn what’s been learnt
22. I can tell you this, if we embrace a teachable spirit, become a student of our spouse’s needs, we can gain new perspectives
23. Few ways to develop this is by being WILLING. A teachable heart starts with the acknowledgment that we do not know everything
24. If we can keep an open mind, we can learn a lot from the people around us if we yield, tremendous changes will happen
25. LEARN TO ASK GOOD QUESTIONS: Wonder about things, spend time inquiring about how someone else perceives a situation.
26. Also LISTEN. Take the time to listen patiently. We miss a lot of the blessings by moving too fast and not listening.
27. Ask what thoughts they might have to contribute. We learn when we let all of the voices share their perceptions.
28. Be WILLING TO ACCEPT CORRECTIONS: We will not get everything right & sometimes we will need to be reminded of what is important. #adamandeve
29. Some of you may be asking, what if I change and become teachable and my spouse doesn’t? Only God can change people’s heart
30. Control and manipulation does not change people. And whether they will change from our labor or not, we can’t predict that.
31. So my advice is love, be teachable and leave the results to God, and I can promise this, the change you see in YOU will be amazing.
32. That will be all for tonight, Thank you for joining me please remember to RT, comment and ask questions Good evening
Extracted from Pastor Bolaji Idowu’s (@pastorbolaji) #adamandeve series on twitter and I think you should follow him.
Info: #adamandeve series is live, every Thursday @ 5:30pm Nigerian time, on his TL (@pastorbolaji)