What if no risk was involved will you even make an attempt?

Recently, my friend who has a little baby girl picked her up, threw her up in the air and caught her mid air as she descended. This fun activity was repeated for some time and to my surprise, she began to cry. Having known her to laugh when lifted and thrown in the air every time, I was bemused. She would even ask that you don’t stop, so I wondered what was wrong this time.

Since then, I noticed that whenever she was thrown in the air and caught halfway, she cried every time. This was watched for the period of days I was with them and she cried every single time rather than laugh the way she used to. I began to wonder why?

At last I found a probable answer. She had become conscious of the possibility of falling. She was now aware there was some risk involved in being tossed up and that inner fear was the reason she cried every time, I concluded.

Sometimes, we are like that. Due to the consciousness of inherent dangers or potential risks, we begin to totally avoid getting involved. We completely run away from trying. We begin to prefer to be completely safe, while life itself is associated with various degrees of risk.

As we grow, we begin to be careful of people, to be weary of events, to un-learn the things that actually make life less stressful, the adventures, the fun, the uncertainty and we worry so much about the unknown.

We begin to avoid risky endeavours. While no endeavour is completely risk-less, the amount of risk associated with every attempt varies. Being too focused on associated risk can stop us from even attempting the simplest of tasks.

While it is completely normal to be risk averse, being extreme about it can stop us from doing even what is actually achievable.

Don’t let the fear of falling stop you from flying, don’t let the fear or not succeeding stop you from attempting and don’t let the fear of the unknown stop you from trying. Remember all risks can be managed and there is no risk-less endeavour. What if no risk was involved, will you even make an attempt?

WRONG MINDSET IN RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE (#adamandeve series on Twitter with Pastor Bolaji Idowu)

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

  1. Good evening and thanks for joining today’s episode of #adamandeve.
  2. #adamandeve is an insightful twitter series to help marriages & relationships, if you are just joining in, you are welcome. Catch up on my TL
  3. We discussed MAKING YOUR SPOUSE HAPPY last week and will continue in subsequent weeks. Missed it? Kindly read on my Timeline
  4. Today our focus is on CHOOSING A SPOUSE. Do remember to invite your friend to follow the conversation.
  5. The way the quality of our decisions determines the quality of life, so also, quality of choice
  6. Inferior products are from inferior materials, “poor” marriage/relationship is mostly a function of “poor” choice
  7. Who to marry is a ROOT issue and cannot be altered by mere cosmetic changes as they are tough and adamant to resolve.
  8. The choice of who you marry reflects your level of wisdom.
  9. If you find yourself choosing problematic relationship you need to re-examine HOW and WHAT you choose.
  10. The wrong mind-set towards relationship/marriage is a BIG reason for wrong choice.
  11. Let’s examine quickly 5 WRONG RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE MINDSETS; 1. I am looking for someone to make me happy.
  12. This mind-set believes that happiness will come with the introduction of someone else into their life.
  13. Truth is, if you cannot make yourself happy I doubt if someone else can
  14. Another wrong mind-set is CONSUMER MENTALITY. Failure of most marriage/relationship is because people enter with this Continue reading

ACTS OF SERVICE – One factor that sustains marriage (#adamandeve series on Twitter with Pastor Bolaji Idowu)

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Definition: Ajebutter – Someone born in a rich/wealthy family.

  1. Good evening and welcome to another insightful episode of #adamandeve. Do remember to RT, invite your friends to follow the conversation
  2. Last week we started a discussion on how to make your spouse happy. If you missed it, you can catch up on my timeline.
  3. It is important to state that finding the right partner is easier than keeping one.
  4. Many marriages fail because partners underestimate what it takes to keep a relationship/marriage going.
  5. The “they live happily ever after” is pure fantasy and not reality in most marriages.
  6. Happily ever after is possible if both parties are willing to pay the price to make it happen.
  7. Marriage/relationship can be sweet and fun if worked at. In continuation of our discussion on making your spouse happy…
  8. It is a scary fact that most lonely people in our world today are married women.
  9. This is because their hope of intimacy is dashed when they eventually get married and not happy in the marriage.
  10. Making your spouse happy is KEY to a lifetime love affair, and the principle is; what does she want? What makes her feel loved?
  11. Making your spouse happy is a selfless act with rewards. You need to master what makes your spouse happy not what you think.
  12. A man might just prefer affirmation from you than gift, but if you don’t understand, you will think he does appreciate the gift.
  13. Understanding what makes your partner feel loved is vital to making them happy. Some it is gifts, act of service/quality time
  14. This week, we are looking at ACTS OF SERVICE – Doing something for your spouse that they would like for you to do.
  15. This set of people, receive love when demonstrated by doing something Continue reading

QUALITY TIME – One factor that sustains marriage (#adamandeve series on Twitter with Pastor Bolaji Idowu)

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Definition: “ajebutter” – Nigerian local parlance for someone born into a rich family.

1. Good evening. Welcome to today’s episode of #adamandeve. It will be very helpful. Do remember to invite a friend to follow the conversation
2. One of the deepest realities of marriage is that sustaining a marriage is work.
3. At first, relationship is a spark of fire and passion but it can only be sustained by commitment.
4. It is amazing how, as time goes on in a relationship, acts we did without thinking become a task or difficult to do
5. Making your spouse laugh and happy becomes a task instead of an everyday fun to do activity
6. If you have been with someone for a while, you will realize making each other happy sometimes is not as easy as thought
7. Understanding your partner’s perspectives is what is lacking in most troubled marriages today
8. If you devote yourself to understanding their perspectives, things will get a lot better and solutions become obvious.
9. It is sometimes common, that efforts of love by one end up in disaster.
10. To make your spouse happy, you must understand we perceive and receive love differently.
11. One key area I want to talk about today, as a way of showing love is QUALITY TIME.
12. Most partners will trade the world to have Continue reading

HOW TO CHOOSE A SPOUSE. [CONT’D] (#adamandeve series on Twitter with Pastor Bolaji Idowu)

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

1. Good evening, welcome to today’s Episode of #adamandeve. Kindly do remember to RT and Invite friends to follow the conversation.

2. Last week, we started discussion on “choosing a spouse” and that’s where we will continue today. This will be a good one.

3. Choosing who to marry is like, picking a channel on DSTV and you are not allowed to view other available channels

4. Wrong choice of spouse has led to heartbreaks, debt, sickness & even death. It’s wisdom to remain single than end up with the wrong person.

5. Some errors are easily corrected; unfortunately a wrong choice of spouse is so difficult to change as you have to live with it.

6. The key cause of divorce is heartbreak as a result of unmet expectations. Relationship/marriage could be fun, but it’s hell for many.

7. The foundation for successful relationships/marriages is choosing the right person

8. People are hard to change and they hardly change. When choosing a spouse, please remember this.

9. The right partner will cultivate you, the wrong one will destroy your potentials. So please choose RIGHT.

10. When you are hooked to a wrong partner, some of the attitudes gradually rob off you. You begin to act, think & behave like them

11. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. That said, so why do people make wrong decision in choosing a spouse?

12. Ignorance; this is another key reason why people make poor choices of a spouse.

13. Ignorance of what marriage entails, the sacrifices involved and the Continue reading