QUALITY TIME – One factor that sustains marriage (#adamandeve series on Twitter with Pastor Bolaji Idowu)

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Definition: “ajebutter” – Nigerian local parlance for someone born into a rich family.

1. Good evening. Welcome to today’s episode of #adamandeve. It will be very helpful. Do remember to invite a friend to follow the conversation
2. One of the deepest realities of marriage is that sustaining a marriage is work.
3. At first, relationship is a spark of fire and passion but it can only be sustained by commitment.
4. It is amazing how, as time goes on in a relationship, acts we did without thinking become a task or difficult to do
5. Making your spouse laugh and happy becomes a task instead of an everyday fun to do activity
6. If you have been with someone for a while, you will realize making each other happy sometimes is not as easy as thought
7. Understanding your partner’s perspectives is what is lacking in most troubled marriages today
8. If you devote yourself to understanding their perspectives, things will get a lot better and solutions become obvious.
9. It is sometimes common, that efforts of love by one end up in disaster.
10. To make your spouse happy, you must understand we perceive and receive love differently.
11. One key area I want to talk about today, as a way of showing love is QUALITY TIME.
12. Most partners will trade the world to have quality time with their spouse.
13. While some others will think “I give her everything, I just don’t have enough time to be with her. That should be ok” ERROR!
14. Quality time: Giving someone your UNDIVIDED ATTENTION which nothing can replace. It’s a powerful, emotional communicator of love
16. Hence the “ajebutter” lady grew up with a strong craving for attention which she values but didn’t get whilst growing up
17. People who have quality time as their way of receiving love will not necessarily value gift or touch.
15. Most “AJEBUTTER” wives/babes grew up in homes where money isn’t a problem but deprived of attention
18. Quality time means you have my FULL ATTENTION given to you, what you say and what you think.
19. It is the feeling that at this moment I am the world you think about and are in.
20. Husband and wife playing tennis together, will focus not on the game, but on the fact that they are spending time together.
21. A husband who is watching sports on television while he talks to his wife is not giving her quality time.
22. A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity. Togetherness has to do with focused attention.
23. Some men pride themselves on being able to watch television, read a magazine, and listen to their wives, all at the same time.
24. That is an admirable trait, but it is not speaking the love language of quality time
25. Instead, you must turn off the TV, lay the magazine down, look into your mate’s eyes, listen and interact.
26. To your spouse, 20 minutes of your undivided attention and conversing is like a 20-minute refill of his or her love tank.
27. Most guys will often show love to you by spree of cash/ expensive gifts and wonder “why is she not happy with all the gifts?”.
28. Answer: She wants you & not just the gifts! Most ladies in this category will value 10 minutes of your time than a brand new C class.
29. As we begin to wrap this up, gifts are very nice, but for some people, gifts alone might not be their way of receiving love.
30. Men, if you really want to impress your wife, next time she walks in while you are watching sports, put the television on mute.
31. Don’t take your eyes off her. If she engages you in conversation, turn the TV off and give her your undivided attention.
32. You will score a thousand points and her love tank will be overflowing.
33. That will be all for tonight, thank you for your time. If you can relate to this or found this helpful kindly RT and comment.

Extracted from Pastor Bolaji Idowu’s (@pastorbolaji) #adamandeve series on twitter and I think you should follow him.

Info: #adamandeve series is live, every Thursday @ 5:30pm Nigerian time, on his TL (@pastorbolaji). Check here every Friday/Saturday for fresh #adamandeve series.

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