WRONG MINDSET IN RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE (#adamandeve series on Twitter with Pastor Bolaji Idowu)

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

  1. Good evening and thanks for joining today’s episode of #adamandeve.
  2. #adamandeve is an insightful twitter series to help marriages & relationships, if you are just joining in, you are welcome. Catch up on my TL
  3. We discussed MAKING YOUR SPOUSE HAPPY last week and will continue in subsequent weeks. Missed it? Kindly read on my Timeline
  4. Today our focus is on CHOOSING A SPOUSE. Do remember to invite your friend to follow the conversation.
  5. The way the quality of our decisions determines the quality of life, so also, quality of choice
  6. Inferior products are from inferior materials, “poor” marriage/relationship is mostly a function of “poor” choice
  7. Who to marry is a ROOT issue and cannot be altered by mere cosmetic changes as they are tough and adamant to resolve.
  8. The choice of who you marry reflects your level of wisdom.
  9. If you find yourself choosing problematic relationship you need to re-examine HOW and WHAT you choose.
  10. The wrong mind-set towards relationship/marriage is a BIG reason for wrong choice.
  11. Let’s examine quickly 5 WRONG RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE MINDSETS; 1. I am looking for someone to make me happy.
  12. This mind-set believes that happiness will come with the introduction of someone else into their life.
  13. Truth is, if you cannot make yourself happy I doubt if someone else can
  14. Another wrong mind-set is CONSUMER MENTALITY. Failure of most marriage/relationship is because people enter with this mind-set
  15. Most people enter the relationship/marriage with the mind-set of “TAKING” from each other.
  16. Successful relationships are built on each other’s commitment to contribute to the relationship’s success
  17. Consumer mentality focuses only on the gains in the relationship, that is, “what am I gaining from this”?
  18. When you hear people say “I want someone who loves me more that I love them” that is consumer mentality speaking.
  19. In other words what they are implying is they want someone who will sacrifice more for them while they do almost nothing.
  20. A consumer mentality partner never prioritizes making his partner happy or meeting their needs.
  21. They only take action when it favours them. They have high expectations of their partner and low expectation of self
  22. A consumer mentality partner has not learnt how to love and expect nothing in return.
  23. They focus on rights & responsibility which makes love burdensome. They see no wrong in relationship even if partner is dying
  24. Truth be told, true love can’t be reciprocated always but a consumer mentality partner just can’t figure this
  25. In the best love based relationships, a partner will fall short from time to time but a consumer partner doesn’t understand this.
  26. A consumer mentality partner understands his own shortcomings but can’t understand his partner’s
  27. Understanding the purpose of marriage and relationship prevents its abuse
  28. One dumb thing single people say is “we are friends, we are too close to date”
  29. In my opinion, the best place to find someone to espouse is in the FRIEND ZONE! Chemistry is easier to build than friendship
  30. So, it is easier for friendship to build and then chemistry later, than someone you are sexually attracted to becoming friends
  31. Relationship and marriage rarely break because of lack of chemistry what breaks them often is lack of friendship
  32. If you are caught in a FRIEND ZONE work on your attraction and chemistry, move from being best buddies to romantic buddies
  33. In conclusion tonight, some things are not negotiable in a relationship. One is companionship, choose among your friends.
  34. I will be starting in March the best relationship/marriage series you have ever heard in your life @harvestersng
  35. Thank you for joining the conversation tonight, do remember to RT, comment and send questions to pastorbolaji@harvestersng.org

Extracted from Pastor Bolaji Idowu’s (@pastorbolaji) #adamandeve series on twitter and I think you should follow him.

Info: #adamandeve series is live, every Thursday @ 5:30pm Nigerian time, on his TL (@pastorbolaji). Check here every Friday/Saturday for fresh #adamandeve series.

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