Dating like a PRO [Continued]

[Click here to read “Dating like a PRO” – Part 1]

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Good evening, friends. Welcome to today’s episode of #adamandeve. Thank you for joining me on this insightful series which I hope you find… Let’s not do this alone. Do retweet, comment and invite your friends to follow the conversation. They will thank you later. Last week, we started a discussion on successful dating. I mentioned that even married people still need to date in their marriage.

Marriage has to be nurtured and developed constantly to remain strong; it should be a continual dating process. Stress is a key cause of troublesome relationship or marriage, especially when it isnot well handled. Life stress has its way of killing passionate relationships/marriages.

When the partner undergoes stress, his ability to show love and tolerate the other is hampered. Stress makes us to withdraw into ourselves which can lead to relationship/marital collapse. Stress has its unique way of turning a loving partner into a selfish, fault finding person.

Stress reduces our level of tolerance for others, including our loved ones. Stress is part of life. Handling stress properly is key to relationship success. When you are stressed, please communicate with your partner, and ask them to tolerate you in your season of stress.

When a partner is stressed, what they need is a comforting and understanding spouse; not otherwise that will add to the stress. Why some stress moments are short-lived, some of them are prolonged, and are difficult to manage.

A nagging wife or demanding husband is never good for stressful seasons. Making relationships work means knowing how to handle stress moments in the relationship, and each other’s lives. At the moment of stress, things are said, behaviors are demonstrated that regretfully cause so much afterwards.

Successful dating and marital relationships are always based on the right motives. When the motive for dating/marriage is wrong, everything will go wrong with time. No matter how sneaky a person is, motive always shows/slips out with time.

This is why I ask singles to give dating good time for hidden motives to unfold, if any. Ulterior motives sometimes are hard to detect because of smart cover up stories. The right motive for a relationship include “I love you”, “I care for you”.

Anything outside the right motive is building a house on sinking sand. Wrong motives for relationships may be for sex, money, status, freedom, or revenge. Relationships should not be an alternative source of income.

Some people’s financial plan includes marrying a rich man or woman. ERROR! Some even say erroneously that ‘ once there’s money, the love will come’. SCAM! Money could make loving easy, but money can never buy true love. For successful relationships, I will suggest a place of counsel and mentoring. Counsel, in this case is not the little gossip or advice from your girlfriends, or men at the bar.

I will recommend that each couple have agreed mentors with trusted experience and proven record of marital bliss. These mentors provide experience and perspective that enhance the relationship. These mentors are not intrusive gossips, but one with a father’s heart and long to see your relationship thrive.

They provide platforms to resolve differences and conflict that you find hard to resolve within you. When opening your life to people, kindly make sure that you can trust them, and trust their discretion. Unresolved conflicts always degenerate into broken relationships.

That will be all for tonight. Thanks for joining me. God bless you. Do remember to retweet, comment and ask questions.

Extracted from Pastor Bolaji Idowu’s #adamandeve series on twitter and I think you should follow him (@pastorbolaji).

Info: #adamandeve series is live, every Thursday @ 5:30pm Nigerian time, on his TL (@pastorbolaji).
Check here every weekend for fresh #adamandeve series or subscribe to posts by following my blog. Feel free to drop your comments too. I am passionate about making you see how to better your relationship/marriage.

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