Marriages are not as good as they could be when someone holds on to the hurt their spouse has caused. I know it’s difficult to completely open yourself up after being hurt, but nobody can promise that loving someone won’t hurt.
In fact, you can’t love without being willing to be hurt. It’s not possible. You can’t have real love unless you are willing to forgive. Love trusts them over and over again, expecting them to do the right thing the next time, and believing the best of them. .
I realize there might be big hurts in your marriage, along with little things you deal with daily. If you’re struggling with unforgiveness in your marriage, ask the Lord to reveal what has caused you to feel bitterness. You may be surprised at what He reveals to you; but when you see the truth, decide to let go of that grief.
Decide to forgive your spouse and walk in patience as you treat them with God’s amazing unconditional love. Perhaps you are waiting for your wife to finish dressing up when you are already 20 minutes late, or your husband puts his dirty socks or underwear on the floor, instead of the laundry basket.
When long married couples are asked the recipe for marital success, many identify patience as the key ingredient. It’s the indispensable virtue for living together every day in relative peace without constant struggle to change the other.
Patience in marriage begins with the individual. Our daily routine gives us ample opportunity to practice patience.
Patience with co-workers could translate into patience with spouse, and even children. We must be patient with everyone, especially with ourselves. Our faults and failings may tempt us to reproach ourselves harshly, and give in to frustration or despair.
If we learn to treat ourselves gently, we will be likely to extend the same to our spouse when they hurt us.
Couples need to be patient with marriage itself.
Healthy marriages grow and change. Like marriage, patience is a work of a lifetime. Each day brings an opportunity to cultivate the virtue.
When it is time to talk, try to help your partner understand your frustration.
Likewise, the offending partner should have the opportunity to explain their words or actions. It could be that you misinterpreted their motives. Clear this up and it will go a long way towards solving the problems.
People joke about marriages breaking up over toothpaste and toilet paper disputes, but it really happens. Hold your relationship dearer than the issue. Sometimes we get wrapped up in our hurt and lose sight of the bigger picture.
Remember, your relationship is your primary concern. Learn to be patient with one another and resolve all issues amicably. That would be all for tonight. If this has been helpful, please, send comments and questions to firstname.lastname@example.org God bless you.
Extracted from Pastor Bolaji Idowu’s #adamandeve series on twitter (@pastorbolaji).
Info: #adamandeve series is live, every Thursday @ 5:30pm Nigerian time, on this handle (@pastorbolaji).
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