It’s another day friends! So excited to share with you today on #adamandeve. Welcome.
As usual, I won’t want to do this alone, kindly invite a friend to follow this handle and join in the conversation.
Today, we shall be discussing “DEALING WITH THE “EX” FACTOR”. Although, relating with an ex could seem harmless, it can threaten your current relationship.
Why we keep relating with an ex is a key point to consider.
A key reason is because of real friendship they previously shared. Sometimes, a person could be a “bad partner” but a very good friend, hence, when an ex is a good friend, you find yourself falling back into the friend zone.
Another reason why people keep relating with their ex could be due to sexual attachment. Some men/women are attracted to their ex because of previous ecstatic sexual experiences and they want a replay. Such attachment, to the ex, is focused on meeting each other’s sexual cravings.
Some people keep relating with their ex because of loneliness. In this case, they keep going back because there is no other person in their lives. If out of loneliness, you hang out with an ex, the chance of being abused is very high.
Some people also, feel attached to their ex because of safety. The saying “The devil you know, is better than an angel you just met” suits this case. So they find themselves still telling their ex about their secrets, escapades and plans.
While relating with your ex could be void of ulterior motives, it could be a dangerous and risky venture. Old fire could easily be rekindled. This is very applicable with an ex.
For most people, relating with your ex is just a threatening relationship or subject of discussion.
In my personal opinion, I don’t think you should risk your present because of your past relationship that led nowhere.
If you find yourself going back to an ex, you should ask “Why do I keep going back?”
Some people are attached to their ex because, they find it hard to move on and hope for a comeback. Most times, this comeback never happens and when it does, it’s often a “use and dump” situation. People in this category, often become jealous of their ex’s relationship.
Some go back to their ex because they are just STUPID! Some cunning exes play the emotional card to get the person coming again and again. Although the relationship is officially over, they still want the benefits attached to it.
These people will fall for the sweet talk and emotional blackmail. Sometimes, it’s impossible to cut off interaction completely with an ex, but it can be minimized.
It is imperative, to minimize interaction with your ex in order to curtail attachment.
Effectively minimizing interaction with your ex can make your partner feel secure. Although for some, there is nothing that their partner does, that can make them feel secure.
Allowing your ex in your life, can give room for comparison of your present and previous relationship. Even when this is not the intention, the presence of your ex in your life just provokes competition.
Keeping a close relationship with your ex while in a relationship, could be a negative signal. Close relationship with your ex, could mean something is deficient in your relationship that you are looking for.
Everyone nurses the fear that close relationship with an ex, could slip into sexual escapades.
Genuine partners, have concerns that close relationship with an ex could give chance to win back the love and relationship. If you must maintain a relationship with your ex, the following guidelines might be helpful.
• If you cannot break up the interaction completely, you must define limits and expectations.
• In dealing with an ex when disconnection is impossible, please carry your current partner along.
• Be open to your partner about your dealings, interactions and conversation with your ex.
• When you begin to receive mixed and dangerous signals from the ex, kindly terminate interactions to safeguard your integrity.
In conclusion, please note; Getting into a fight with your partner over an ex is not wise. Keeping a relationship with your ex, renews old memories that should be forgotten and abolished. Pure wisdom says, you should avoid doing things that will jeopardize your relationship.
That will be all for tonight, I do hope someone finds it really helpful. Do remember to RT, comment and ask questions.
Extracted from Pastor Bolaji Idowu’s #adamandeve series on twitter and I think you should follow him (@pastorbolaji).
Info: #adamandeve series is live, every Thursday @ 5:30pm Nigerian time, on his TL (@pastorbolaji).
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