Secrets of Staying in love (Cont’d)

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Hello friends, welcome to today’s episode of #adamandeve. If this is your first time here, I am happy to have you join in. Do remember to tell friends to follow this handle, RT, comment and join in the conversation.

Last week, we started discussion on “SECRETS OF STAYING IN LOVE” if you missed that episode, here are some excerpts …

Forgiveness is a choice that makes relationship or marriage brand new. To help forgive your spouse, always remind yourself that you also have shortcomings.

Also remember, weak people revenge, strong people forgive. You can read up the rest on my timeline (@pastorbolaji).

To sustain the love in a relationship/marriage, communication is very important. Communication is the lifeline of any relationship. Any relationship, where communication is non-existent is as good as dead.
Great relationships/marriages, are talking relationships/marriages. Enjoyable marriages have in common, good communication.

A relationship where partners do not talk, they hardly know each other’s pain or joy and can’t share in them.

It’s quite unfortunate that in most relationships, fun filled gist has been reduced to strictly family business talks.

The more you talk to someone, the more your heart connects with the person. By communicating, your partner can feel your pain/joy and share in it.

A non-talking partner makes a relationship/marriage lonely. Through communication, you assure your partner of your commitment and love.

It’s amazing to discover the volume of what one partner wants to tell the other, but they cannot.

Proper communication in relationship/marriage, aids alignment. It won’t be hard for anyone to agree or follow your decision, if carried along in making that decision.

Unfortunately, communication problems are common with men. Most men will internalize their thoughts than verbalize it.

Internalizing thought, is frustrating for a woman and causes problems in a relationship. Women thrive on daily conversations. When you ask a man “How was your day?” His typical answer will be “Fine”.
If a woman is asked the same question, she will give you a detailed story of how her day started, who she met etc.

Men, if you want to strengthen your love, then you will need to talk to your wife a LOT.
Great communication is helpful in solving relationship and marital problems. Where communication is weak, problems are amplified.

Arising issues are hardly discussed in a relationship where communication is deficient. Communication is a way of filling the emotional tank. Women, due to the way they are wired, love to talk.
Your wife needs you to be genuinely interested in her constantly. If you do, you’ll experience greater intimacy & fulfillment.

I am convinced that keeping the love tank full, is as important to a marriage, as maintaining the proper oil level in a car.

Running your marriage/relationship on an empty “love tank” may cost you even more than trying to drive your car without oil.

Fear is an indication of defective communication in relationship/marriage. Any time a partner, harbors the fear of expressing his/her mind in a relationship/marriage it signals communication problems.
Another sign of communication problem in a relationship or marriage is DOMINANCE.

In a relationship, if one person’s views and thoughts MUST dominate discussion, it’s a sign of defective communication.

If in a relationship/marriage, partners avoid talking to each other, communication is defective. It is common knowledge that most partners today do not like talking to each other.

When most partners talk, the conversation is phepherial because, they avoid grey areas
Another sign of defective communication in a relationship/marriage is; SILENT TREATMENT.

Silent treatment is an act of completely ignoring a person with silence especially as a means of expressing disapproval. It is hard to have a conversation with someone who is not willing to talk.
Some partners instead of talking, will just put up an attitude.

Communication also becomes difficult, when a partner is fond of lying. The best way to say it is; some people are PATHOLOGICAL LIARS.

If I have to double check your words every time, I can’t communicate with you.

You can measure the success of a relationship/marriage by the level of great communication in it.
Choosing to understand your partner, can improve communication. Accepting that you don’t always have to be right, enhances communication in a relationship/marriage.

Generally, men should learn how to talk, and talk and keep talking.

One of the very first signs of a failing relationship or marriage is poor communication.

If you don’t save the dying communication in your relationship, you might be facing a dying marriage.
Giving your partner room to complain and express themselves encourages them to speak up.

Right Communication makes relationship and marriages sweet.

In conclusion, one of the goals of a great marriage is to become a best friend to your spouse. Communication enhances this.

That will be all for tonight. Thank you for joining me tonight, the conversation continues next week. Do remember to RT, comment and ask questions.

Extracted from Pastor Bolaji Idowu’s #adamandeve series on twitter and I think you should follow him (@pastorbolaji).

Info: #adamandeve series is live, every Thursday @ 5:30pm Nigerian time, on his TL (@pastorbolaji).
Check here every weekend for fresh #adamandeve series or subscribe to posts by following my blog. Feel free to drop your comments too. I am passionate about making you see how to better your relationship/marriage.


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