Attracting a potential spouse and questions when choosing who to marry

Good evening friends, welcome to today episode of #adamandeve. Last week, we started discussing ways to attract a potential mate. If you missed it, kindly read up on my timeline.

To attract a great potential spouse, you must be a great one yourself. The law of attraction states “You attract who you are”. So to attract a better partner, you have to be a better person.

If you continually attract the wrong partner, you need to look inwards. In attracting a potential spouse, you need to have a clearly defined vision. A potential spouse should share or compliment your vision.

Marriage/Relationship should not be a reason to neglect your life vision.

In attracting a potential spouse, it is important to look out for someone who has similar values. People with different values, often look very attractive but it always ends in chaos.

Defining key values is a fundamental step in choosing a potential spouse.

Value should reflect four areas; Social, Spiritual, family values and financial.

Values determine behaviours. When values are not in sync in a relationship/marriage, there will be chaos.

Relationships/marriages based on material things hardly last.

Relationship based on sex or physical attraction only, always crumbles in the day of trouble.

Before you look out for someone to marrying, you need to ask yourself the following questions:

Am I ready for this? As relationship/marriage will come with sweet and sour times.

A lot of people are not mentally ready for marriage/relationship. They enjoy the excitement and romance, but are not willing to pay the price to keep the relationship alive. Mental maturity is so key to sustaining a healthy marriage or relationship.

Another question to ask before choosing your spouse is “Am I ready for love”? A lot of people want to be loved, but they are not ready for love.

Some people have been through things that have made them incapable to love and be loved.

People with undealt hurts, will always hurt people who really love them. Some husbands & girlfriends are paying for the hurt caused by another in their relationship.

Before you get into a relationship, sort out all emotional baggage. Never allow your innocent lover, suffer for your hurtful past.

In choosing who to marry, you also need to ask, are we compatible? Loving someone you are incompatible with, is going to be a huge challenge in your relationship/marriage. Compatibility is the ability to accept/tolerate one another without having to alter the essence of who you are.

Many divorced people are still in love with their exes but the truth is, they can’t live together. It is amazing how today, the issue of compatibility, is never given serious thought before marriage.

The same way not every key can open any door, not everyone can make a compatible wife/husband.

Love is blind but marriage is an eye opener. You don’t take a man to the altar to alter him.

Hoping for a man or woman to change after marriage is like building castles in the air. If your partner refuses to change or adjust before marriage, he is likely to remain like that throughout the marriage.

Are you a helpmate or a drainmate? Everyone must come into a relationship with the desire, not only to have his/her needs met, but to also meet the other’s needs.

Join @LekeAlder & I this Sunday @harvestersng as we continue our #adamandeve relationship series. See you there


Extracted from Pastor Bolaji Idowu’s #adamandeve series on twitter and I think you should follow him (@pastorbolaji).


Info: #adamandeve series is live, every Thursday @ 5:30pm Nigerian time, on his TL (@pastorbolaji).
Check here every weekend for fresh #adamandeve series or subscribe to posts by following my blog. Feel free to drop your comments too. I am passionate about making you see how to better your relationship/marriage.

Thirsty for more? Click to visit the main Adamandeve archive :

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