One unpleasant thing that happens to a marriage/relationship is when your spouse doesn’t bring happiness. Most people enter a relationship/marriage with the hope of having the best times of their lives with “THE ONE THEY LOVE”, but few years into the relationship/marriage, they are looking for a way out because of unhappiness.
Most relationships & marriages don’t sustain the love and passion they started with.
Your marriage/relationship can be blissful, if only we give more attention to the things that make our spouses happy.
One of the reasons why couples are unhappy in their relationships is; SELFISH DEMANDS.
Selfish demand, is “commanding your spouse or anyone else to do things that would benefit you at their expense.” Selfish demands carry a threat of punishment. Selfish demands put pressure on love.
A selfish demand does not consider you or give you options. It is never a good motivator. None of us wants to be bossed around, even when it means helping someone we love.
Couples, instead of placing demands on your spouse, try request. A request is considerate and gives one options for talking and negotiations. Request communicates care and consideration.
Men should learn to humbly request from their women than give demands and commands.
Here is the Key: The happier you are, the more you make requests; the more frustrated you are the more you make demands.
DISRESPECTFUL JUDGEMENT is also a hindrance to happiness among couples. Disrespectful judgments can mar a relationship and may break up a marriage.
What seems to be love and care to a woman could be perceived as disrespect to a man. Women, instead of nagging and being disrespectful to your spouse, try honouring him.
Honour brings faster results from a man than challenging or confronting. There is really nothing wrong when your partner lays a complaint, the challenge is when you become critical and judgmental.
It will be hard for your partner to open up and express themselves when they know you will always criticize them. Instead of passing disrespectful judgment and criticism, we should correct in love.
Listen when your spouse complains about certain things and check it to know if it’s true, and then ask people who are close to you.
In marriage, you don’t attack persons (i.e. your spouse), you address issues.
DISHONESTY is also a cause of unhappiness in marriage and relationships. Being dishonest with your partner, reveals you don’t feel safe sharing with your partner or you have something to hide.
Either way, you undermine the trust and respect of your partner when you lie or withhold.
The foundation of any healthy relationship is built on trust. When trust is broken, the one who lied has “broken a bond “.
Dishonesty in marriage/relationship can lead to problems like arguments, psychological strain and a depressed marital life. Dishonesty might look like the easy way out of situations, but eventually, it leaves a strain on the marriage/relationship.
The number one way to make your wife happy is by providing for her, making her feel secure and giving her affection. Affection is not care; affection is the feeling of care.
When a woman, knows that she is deeply appreciated, loved and cared for, she’s willing to go any length for her spouse.
For couples going through an unhappy phase, love can be kept hot but it takes consistent effort. Passionate relationships & marriages are a function of both partners pleasing each other.
Passion in relationship & marriage degenerate with time, but remain passionate intentionally.
That would be all for now, thank you for joining in. Do remember to RT, comment and ask questions.
Extracted from Pastor Bolaji Idowu’s #adamandeve series on twitter and I think you should follow him (@pastorbolaji).
Info: #adamandeve series is live, every Thursday @ 5:30pm Nigerian time, on his TL (@pastorbolaji).
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