Good evening friends, welcome to today’s episode of #adamandeve. Today , we will be continuing our discussion on“7 (WRONG) REASONS TO GET MARRIED”. If you missed last week’s episode, please catch up on my timeline.
Reason not to marry 3; PRESSURE. This is the influence friends, family, society and your own psyche place upon you. You will always have family members or friends who put pressure on you to settle down because they think it is time.
You need to realize that these people will not be in marriage with you and won’t directly feel the consequences of a broken marriage. If you’re in a situation, where you’re constantly reminded of your age & need to get married, find a way to silence the noise.
Why you shouldn’t marry due to pressure is because the pressure will be even louder if you are miserably married. The same people who pressurized you into marriage won’t be there when there’s problem in the marriage. Be wise. Being able to see past the glitz and glam of the wedding is essential.
They say that “age is but a number” but I would argue that age does give something a little extra & it’s called experience! Also, don’t give in to the pressure to marry “because it’s been long enough,” when your relationship hasn’t really matured. Instead of coming under pressure, be intentional about doing the footwork of being a right person for the right one.
Remember that it is not a race. Marriage is not something to be rushed into. Marrying the wrong person can have a toll on your mental health, your happiness and your pocket. You’re better off taking your time and going at a pace you are comfortable with.
If some of your friends can’t support your decision to go at your pace, then you need to find people who will. Marriage is about the rest of your life and its important, not to let anyone pressurize you about when to make the decision.
Your friends/family may have good intentions, but you have to do what is best for you in the long term.
Reason not to marry 4; MONEY. Ever heard the saying “Marry for money, you can always learn to love”? It’s true that a lot of marriage problems stem from money- or lack of it, but when you marry for your financial worthiness, the relationship will harbor lots of resentments.
If you marry a man for money, consider the fact that these things could evaporate at a moment’s notice. Before you marry for money, understand that, there’s no guarantee that bank accounts will stay filled, or jobs stay secured.
A marriage built on financial dependency is building a house on sand. When the wind blows, the marriage will crumble. Money can buy you a fabulous vacation and that will make you happy, but money sure can’t buy you happiness.
Marrying for money will trap you. Money is the number one reason people stay in a loveless relationship/marriage. Any married person who suggests you marry for money is probably unhappy. You should feel bad for them, not take their advice.
Reason not to marry 5; SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX & SEX. Some people are sexually driven they end up seeking someone to love but in reality, they want sex than lasting relationships. Some people act as if they are “on heat” dogs, and during those times they find a lover to share their passion.
Sometimes the passion remains until the wedding day, but after the wedding day it diminishes. Marriage is SO much more than sex. It’s a commitment. It’s a nurturing relationship between two individuals.
Sex is overrated, believe me. There’s no way you can have sex, 24-7-365. Marriage, doesn’t guarantee great sex life unless, your partner is into you & you both are compatible on other levels.
There’s a high chance of your partner not ‘just looking to have sex’ in a marriage. They might look for a companion.
So marrying someone, just because you want to have sex seems selfish & marriage does not work if selfishness is involved.
In conclusion, there’ll be successful marriages, if we take time to know ourselves before getting to know someone else. Dear readers, avoid getting married for the wrong reasons.
That will be all for tonight, we continue next week. Do remember to RT, comment and ask questions.
Extracted from Pastor Bolaji Idowu’s #adamandeve series on twitter and I think you should follow him (@pastorbolaji).
Info: #adamandeve series is live, every Thursday @ 5:30pm Nigerian time, on his TL (@pastorbolaji).
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