Good day friends, welcome to today’s episode of #adamandeve. Today, we will be discussing “7 WRONG REASONS TO GET MARRIED”. Do invite your friends to follow the conversation.
Saturdays, tons of ‘owambe’ weddings happen & it seems everyone is in a hurry to “catch the bae” & feature on Bella naija.
It’s February and there’s a major countdown to the “love season” February 14th the frenzy is high. If care is not taken, a lot of single people will come under pressure and depression.
The decision to marry is the biggest decision that most people make in a lifetime, it is safer to make that decision carefully.
Marriage is hard work, but so is divorce. Marriage is a delicate issue. The wrong choice of a spouse can cause an irreparable damage to one’s life.
If you buy a wrong house, car or television set, you can make do with it for a time and after a while, replace it. However when you marry the wrong person, you have made a wrong choice that would last a life time.
WHEN YOU MARRY FOR THE WRONG REASON, YOU MOST LIKELY HAVE MARRIED THE WRONG PERSON.
Reason Not to marry 1; FEAR. Many enter marriage due to fear. Either they feel their biological clock is ticking. The fear of time ticking out on them, makes them jump into relationships or marriages based on the age factor. No matter how old you are, if you are not mature or prepared, you have no business entering into a relationship.
A man out of fear can conclude, “I am already 35, I need to continue my lineage.” He marries a girl whom he doesn’t know. Some even settle for unsuitable partners because, they are afraid that the suitable ones “may never come”. You’ll hear statements like, “if I don’t marry this one, will another one come and even if he does, when?”
This fear has pushed many ladies into marrying unsuitable suitors. Fear is exhibited, when people know they’re with a wrong person but refuse to end the relationship for fear of starting over.
I understand you’re getting older & it’s a bit awkward to still be single; maybe you’ve become a prayer point in your family, but believe me, if you have waited this long, you might as well do it right. Your wait will then be worth it.
I always say, if your biological clock is ticking, then remove the battery! It is better to be single and happy than be married and unhappy. Fear is definitely a wrong reason for entering into a relationship/marriage.
Reason not to marry 2; TO CURE LONELINESS. I know you are 30 and it can get very lonely sometimes, but marriage won’t cure your loneliness. Let’s be sure of what loneliness is or is not. When you’re a private person or an introvert, you’re not necessarily lonely.
A lot of us need our me-time or alone-time once in a while, some than others. Loneliness however, is deeper. Loneliness is a constant lack of contact with other people, even when the person wants to be.
It is the feeling of isolation, when you find it hard to make a connection with a special someone for intimacy. Indeed, many people get married because loneliness makes them desperate. However, feeling lonely makes one likely to make poor love choices and they could end up in unfulfilling relationships.
Marriage is not a magic pill to cure loneliness. If you did not make the connection with your spouse before you got married; it is unlikely that a wedding will do the trick. Such a relationship is especially painful because now you have someone around, but you can’t even talk or connect to them. Some people are so emotionally empty & desperate for anyone to marry. In the end these persons end up in painful relationship.
In conclusion, a lonely and desperate person will remain lonely after marriage. Marriage should be embraced for wise reasons, not wrong ones. Remember, marriage is good and desirable, but with the wrong person or for the wrong reasons, it can be worse than hell.
That will be all for tonight, we continue next week. Do remember to RT, comment and ask questions.
Extracted from Pastor Bolaji Idowu’s #adamandeve series on twitter and I think you should follow him (@pastorbolaji).
Info: #adamandeve series is live, every Thursday @ 5:30pm Nigerian time, on his TL (@pastorbolaji).
Check here every weekend for fresh #adamandeve series or subscribe to posts by following my blog. Feel free to drop your comments too. I am passionate about making you see how to better your relationship/marriage.